October 27, 2008
Yesterday I spoke about the greatest commandment, actually the two great commandments that Jesus brought together in an inseparable way: the love of God and the love of neighbor. Today I'd like to write very briefly about the latter half of these two: love for neighbor. In a word, love of neighbor is messy business. One of the many things that makes it so, it seems to me, is that love of neighbor does not always look the same. In one situation love requires a very different response than in another.
Allow me to give an example. People in need of financial assistance occasionally come to our church offices asking for help. What has long perplexed me is that every situation is unique. In one situation, providing financial help might be exactly what love requires; in another situation witholding help might be what love requires. Sometimes, providing assistance empowers people to move forward, to take greater responsibility for their lives, to make good decisions; at other times, witholding help requires people to take more responsibility, to make wiser decisions, to learn how to utilize their resources and grow.
I'm suggesting that love requires discernment. The key question, it seems to me, is What does love require of me in this specific situation? Consider the example of Jesus. On one occasion, Jesus responded to a rich young ruler who came inquiring about salvation: "Go sell all your possessions, give them to the poor, and come follow me." Pretty tough love, wouldn't you say? But on another occasion, when he spoke the word of forgiveness to a woman caught in the act of adultery, his love looked like bubbling over grace. In both situations he acted in love for his neighbor, but the two occasions look radically different.
It seems to me that love always acts in a way that empowers my neighbor to become all that she or he was created to be. When I act in 'love' for my neighbor, but my 'love' is really something that person needs to be doing for herself, then my 'love' has actually limited her growth. On the other hand, when I act to empower my neighbor, that will always serve my neighbor's growth toward his potential.
Sound messy? I think it is. I think love always requires discernment. Doing for my neighbor what he or she wants me to do is not always the loving thing to do. And sometimes it is. Love requires creativity and wisdom.
4 comments:
I know first hand the messyness of love and I am learning that your words are truth. It is difficult, particularly when that "neighbor" is a family member, even one who lives far away. Yet, God's love, which Jesus demonstrated, is not love as the world would have us to believe it is. He always loves us in a way that, as you said, empowers us and works for our best interest. In my mind, the best kind of love is one that doesn't enable someone to continue in a path of destructive choices but will encourage them to be more self-disciplined, set safer boundaries for themselves, and perhaps help them become more responsible. It helps them become better able to take care of themselves and may even help them learn to reach out and share that love with others in the same way - as you said, "empowerment." Thank you for the chance to share thoughts and ideas.
wow Pastor hit it on the head again for me. Living on the camp grounds we seem to get needy people each year. Most just want hand outs a place to stay for free. While we ask for work instead of money if that would be the case. Most people do not stay with us long. The work is to hard? burning leaves, whicj requires alittle racking and watching the leaves that the fire stays contained. Chopping fire wood. Alot of people do not stay long any way. But this year we were able to help a couple from out of state. Things did not work out well for them here. A group of our camper's gave us a large amount of money for them we were able to make a car payment and give them money home to get back home. Where they have had their baby and the husband found work and working to support the family. It was very nice to actually help someone help themselves.
I agree that different situations require different ways to love, and it has been a challenge for me to make those choices in how to love. However, I’m thinking, How often do we get to that point of action in loving our neighbor? And when we are loving a neighbor-do we always have an agenda, or something to offer or give? When we see a neighbor in need- how do we react? Do we just walk by and act like we don’t see them, slow down and look, or do we actually act? You talk about this way to act in love, but how often are we willing to go to that point of action? And, who are we willing to go there with?
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