The Perfectionist

I'm beginning to wonder, is there any greater obstacle to embracing life as a sacred adventure than the perfectionist within?

The perfectionist is confident for a season, setting out on the journey with an almost arrogant certainty, but at the first hint of his weakness or failure he laments, “I can’t do it.  I’m not able.  I’m not worthy or gifted or smart or committed or tenacious.  Look, look at my pathetic track record!”

It is the perfectionist in her perfectionism who is the problem, not her gifts or track record or unworthiness.  At the first hint of her weakness, she is doomed.  If only she could draw back, playfully of course, and welcome her own failures:  “Of course I’m not able or worthy or gifted or smart,” she might say laughingly.  “I will rejoice all the more in my weaknesses, for in my weaknesses another is made strong!”

When he loses nerve (because he sees his failure or weakness), the perfectionist is quickly overwhelmed.  He hears the stories of those doing good work and he is buried by his sense of inadequacy, becomes more despairing because of his weakness, pulls back more fervently into the ruts of functioning in which he feels most proficient, or finds ways to judge those who are more 'successful.'   If only he can learn to laugh at himself and act upon that which his clearest and most prayerful thinking compels him to do.  Laugh and act, silly perfectionist!

How might the journey look different if the perfectionist can learn the way of surrender to the empowering Spirit rather than the way of willfulness (i.e., trying harder)?